Mad Love

Maybe you've been wondering where I have been lately? What's been taking up my time? Leaving me distracted and a little breathless and losing my keys all over the place? In a nutshell: Boy meets girl. Girl runs over boy's foot with her car. Boy finds girl wildly charming. Boy and girl move in together. Adopt wily orange-haired guinea pig. All in less than a month. Call me crazy but I just decided that I needed to trust my heart and my gut feeling and hang on for this wild ride.

I'll post pics of Daisy with baby Roxy soon!

Get Thee to a Nunnery

I bought new earrings. I curled my eyelashes. I told my friends I had a hot date. I picked out just the right thing to wear. And then I sat and waited. And my date didn't call. Didn't show up. And I feel like an ass. Since I haven't had any contact with him since making plans yesterday I obviously didn't do anything wrong but it still feels like it is somehow my fault. When friends bail on me I feel like that too and a lot of the time they don't realize it. So back to this guy- he seemed really nice. I talked to my mum and she said that she wondered whether all these guys who act like jerks have mothers around. Well, I happen to know the names of my dates parents. Reminded me of an episode of Sex and the City. Miranda gets stood up and is absolutely fed up with being trod upon by men. She happens to have gotten her dates mother's phone number so she decides to give her a call and let her know just what kind of a man she has raised. In that case the guy died of a freak heart attack earlier in the day. I have a feeling mine is just being a donkey. Maybe I should call his mother and let her know her son is going around town treating women like disposable little toys. I wonder if that would make him think twice next time? So here I am, Saturday night, 10:30, drinking Fat Tire. I made some cornbread. Burned the shit out of my finger. I'm ready for the nunnery.

More Bad Boys

A few do's and don'ts for men to remember when trying to woo women:
• If you call a lady don't suddenly decide that you are going to "play it cool" and say that you accidentally pushed a button on your phone and didn't actually mean to call.
• If you have to reschedule a date for later in the evening don't then show up late to the rescheduled time.
•Don't show up already half toasted and proceed to drink way more than your date.
• Don't go through the list of antidepressants you have taken.
•Don't talk about how you want to do "nasty" things to your hot neighbor.
• Do remember to bring money.
• Don't pick your nose. Even you think you're getting away with it you aren't. And if you do it out in the open and think we don't mind, stop. We do mind.
•Don't comment on what a woman eats and how she is undoing all her exercising by being fond of cookie dough ice cream.
• Don't comment on how said woman's friend sure doesn't look like she eats too much ice cream.
Sheesh.

My True Thoughts

So what I wrote earlier today was a load of crap. I mean what I have really been thinking about is, why do men tell you that they are going to call you and then not do it? It is not as if I go around shoving my phone number on people who do not ask for it. I most often do not even approach strangers. So what motivation would a man have to specifically have a long conversation with you and tell you in no uncertain terms that he would like to see you again and then not call? I know that this happens to other women because I have discussed it with my girlfriends. I don't believe that mothers simply don't teach their sons the value of honesty and integrity. Is there something in the male psyche that thinks they can go around lying and subtly manipulating others and that it simply does not matter because there are no dire consequences? And women sit at home wondering what it is that we have done that has made them not call. That is the worst part. I replay situations over in my head trying to think if I made an ass of myself, was unattractive, said something idiotic, etc., and make myself more nuts in small degrees. Men wonder why a lot of women seem a bit neurotic? Try dating men for say 10 years of your life! It's enough to drive one to drink (which only leads to more dating disasters). So for you out there who got my phone number, looked me straight in the eye, and explicitly said that you would call me and would like to see me again and then never did, I could have taken it like a big girl if you had said nothing at all. And then I wouldn't have wasted my time thinking about you. I just hope you know what great knitted socks you're missing out on mister (you dumbass).