Get Thee to a Nunnery

I bought new earrings. I curled my eyelashes. I told my friends I had a hot date. I picked out just the right thing to wear. And then I sat and waited. And my date didn't call. Didn't show up. And I feel like an ass. Since I haven't had any contact with him since making plans yesterday I obviously didn't do anything wrong but it still feels like it is somehow my fault. When friends bail on me I feel like that too and a lot of the time they don't realize it. So back to this guy- he seemed really nice. I talked to my mum and she said that she wondered whether all these guys who act like jerks have mothers around. Well, I happen to know the names of my dates parents. Reminded me of an episode of Sex and the City. Miranda gets stood up and is absolutely fed up with being trod upon by men. She happens to have gotten her dates mother's phone number so she decides to give her a call and let her know just what kind of a man she has raised. In that case the guy died of a freak heart attack earlier in the day. I have a feeling mine is just being a donkey. Maybe I should call his mother and let her know her son is going around town treating women like disposable little toys. I wonder if that would make him think twice next time? So here I am, Saturday night, 10:30, drinking Fat Tire. I made some cornbread. Burned the shit out of my finger. I'm ready for the nunnery.