One thing I have tried not to do with this blog is talk about my health issues. The reason is that I have a lot of them and a large part of my day revolves around pain management, doctors visits, labs trips, and dealing with insurance. I thought I could keep all of that separate. The problem is that it is such a substantial part of my day that a lot of the time I can't compel myself to sit down and write without mentioning it and so I just don't post anything.
I have had a new diagnosis that has shaken the foundation of my life. The C word. It's treatable and I will probably be just fine. Nonetheless it has changed things for me and made me feel totally ungrounded and unsure about everything. I was bobbing along- moving into our new home, planning a wedding, trying to put more time into my art, and POW! Life changes in a few short days so drastically.
I have been very busy with moving so I haven't had a lot of time to dwell and pity myself, thankfully. I am finding it hard to keep my mind focused on doing anything artsy though. I have a Christmas list of gifts to make that's as long as my arm and I can't bring myself to just sit down and invest a couple of hours each day in knitting. While moving everything I flipped through a book I bought some time ago on freeform crochet. I got out some vibrant Noro sock yarn that I know one of my girlfriends will love and sat down with a hook and just started making a scarf with loops and bobbles and following along wherever it seems to want me to go. It has been the one thing I can sit and do for hours. I love knitting and I will always love knitting but right now when all my plans and the path I have tried so carefully to pave for myself has been blown away it makes more sense to my scrambled mind to NOT follow directions or a pattern. It seems fitting to just sit and watch the colors flow through my fingers and put lacy bits and bumps and turns wherever they seem to fit instead of where they "should go".
If you've actually read this far you deserve a treat. Here's a free pattern from Berrocco for an interesting star sprocket crocheted thingy. http://berroco.com/exclusives/celestine_crochet Knitting (and crochet) are one of my most beneficial therapies. I will be sure to write more about that in the future. I hope that if you are facing challenges of your own be it your mental or physical or spiritual health, you can find something as positive to bolster yourself up. It might even make you more popular with all your friends when you get good enough to knit them all socks. XOXO
2 comments:
I'll keep you in my thoughts. Thank you for the link - those copper Mexican light things are a favorite of mine and this is reminiscent of them.
Marie, formerly of ABQ, now in exile in Temple, TX
Love the star thingy, punkin, and it reminds me of the tin and glass Mexican light fixture in your old room. I know your fiber arts are the best therapy, and that's why I hope you're heading to knitting group right now. Hang in there! You're my inspiration.
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