Some random thoughts:

Hearing Donny Osmond talk about how hot his sister Marie is on Dancing With the Stars is disgusting.

Sometimes I wish I could walk around all day with my head pulled inside my shirt like a turtle.

Even if you don't think you are a "guinea pig person" you could use one as an effective burglary alarm for your refridgerator to guard your beer.

Even when you step outside and pass a hundred people and feel alone you can sometimes connect to people a world away only through words. And realize that you aren't so different from some 40 something housewife or some grandma up late knitting booties or whoever. Everyone is just looking for connections and companions.

I have had too much wine.