Oh my dear friends, the lessons I have learned. My birthday is in a week and I have decided I do not want to get a year older. You see, the whole problem is that I see the sands of time rushing through the hourglass and don't exactly feel that I have gotten all the things marked off my to do list that I should have by now. If you don't want to hear a bunch of drivel about my inner bullshit please skip this post and tomorrow I promise I will tell you something else fabulous/funny/witty to capture your attention once again. But for now back to the lessons I have learned.
1. Change the blade on your razor more than once every six months. Otherwise when you finally get around to it your next shave with the shiny sharp new one will be like committing an act of hari kari in the shower. I tell you this from recent experience.
2. Sometimes you must lock up your valuables. This includes but is not limited to your car, bike, power tools, livestock, jewelry, heart, etc. I have learned this the hard way. My car has not been stolen. I had a bike stolen but I got it as a "second hand gift" and the serial number was filed off so I think that was just karma. I have however given a lot of people too many chances to play with my soft squishy innards for their own advantage/amusement. I act like I am so cynical and bitter but instead of growing a hard exoskeleton to protect myself I stay raw and burned. I don't tell most of the people in my life this. But here I am on Friday night spilling my guts to my computer and whoever wants to read this. I haven't given up on finding everything I want. I still think it might happen. But until someone proves that they are worthy of that hope there is a lock on the box.
3. Don't suck up stinkbugs with the vacuum. They just make a stink inside the vacuum and then it comes out in a hot burst through the fan in the back and REALLY stinks. Trust me on this. So these are just a few things I have figured out. I hope they are of use to someone. If I figure out anything else I will let you know. By the way, today I bought some new art.
1 comment:
Oops, wrong post. Obviously, that looked like a rabbit. The heart doesn't look like a pansy.
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